Choosing the right engagement ring could leave you feeling like you’re looking for a needle in a haystack. So we made a list of tips to help you get the ring she wants in the size she needs.

When it comes to picking an engagement ring you might feel like you’re waking up in a cold sweat after catching a glimpse of Freddy Kruger in your dreams. Okay, well I hope it’s not that bad! It can be discouraging though, especially if you’re not 100% sure what your future fiancée may want or need. There are 2 major factors to consider that will help you get over the engagement ring shopping blues, so listen up!

Factor 1: Finding out what she wants

So, knowing what your partner looks for in a ring may not be one of the most apparent things on the planet. Unless your future spouse harbors a wedding wishes notebook, you might be flying without a co-pilot on your mission.

Tip: Use her family and friends

You’re not alone. Enlisting friends and family can be one of the best ideas to gauge just what she wants. If you’re comfortable with her family knowing, then ask them to throw you a bone. You may also consider asking a trustworthy friend, as in someone that isn’t going to spill the beans, to take her shopping. While they’re out, have the friend play the “if only” game with your significant other in the jewelry store. Then, return to the store with the friend to find out exactly what your partner had in mind!

Tip: Pay attention to her style.

You can also tell a lot about the style your partner may want by her clothing choices. If she tends to wear trendy clothing then you may want to stay on the modern spectrum. Women who look for clothes with a vintage vibe or like to mix things up might be into antique inspired rings.

Tip: What jewelry does she already wear?

It will also be beneficial to notice the type of metals and jewels that she wears. You could look at her current ring selection to figure out just what you should go for. If you’re still feeling lost, snag a few of the rings and take them to a jeweler. Someone there should be able to point you in the right direction.

Tip: Ask her what she likes all sneaky like.

Of course, you can always go straight to the source for your information. If you don’t want her to know, then pop into a jewelry store and pretend to look at something else, like a watch. While you’re there, act as if a ring catches your eye and see what she thinks of it. If it’s a no go then ask which she thinks is pretty.

Tip: Ask her early.

You could always work rings into the conversation well before you plan on proposing too. This will allow you to get a sense of what she wants while still leaving her a little in the dark so you can plan a surprise.

Tip: Leave traditional proposing to Cary Grant.

If the two of you are already talking about marriage then just straight up ask her what she likes. It’ll save you from buying something she loathes.

Factor 2: Getting her ring size

A lot of proposers don’t know where to start with this step which is why so many end up spending extra money on their rings. If you don’t have the right size then you may end up forking over more cash to have it resized—although at Majesty Diamonds we offer a free resizing with the purchase of each ring. But it’s still worth taking the time to figure it out because many new fiancées are unwilling to part with their newly acquired rings, even for a few days. There are a few ways to do this, so don’t freak out.

Tip: Go back to the family and friends.

Asking for help from friends or family may be a must in this case. Sometimes someone in her inner circle will know her size, which is pretty much a life saver. However, a lot of the time you’re going to hit a dead end. So, enlist a friend to swipe a ring for you, or have her ask your partner to try on one of her rings. The friend will be able to tell you how it fit which will help you get the size, or you can use the borrowed ring to easily figure it out.

Tip: Swipe her ring.

You can always take matters into your own hands by taking one of her rings when she’s preoccupied though. If you don’t have time to take it to a jeweler, make an outline of the inside of the ring so your jeweler can help you figure it out. Make sure you take a ring that she wears on her ring finger!

Tip: Just ask her what her size is.

Nothing will get the task accomplished faster than simply asking her what her ring size is. It will probably spoil the secret a bit, but surprises are for your grandparents. (Unless you really like surprises, then surprises are for you. It’s a free country.)

Although picking an engagement ring may make you feel like you’re James Bond with all the sneaking around and trickery, it will be rewarding to see her face when you present the perfect ring. You may also want to keep in mind that it’s a big trend for couples to go shopping together now. So, if you don’t want to risk a botched mission you can substitute a temporary ring in your proposal or go shopping together ahead of time!